Politics

Politician fossil discovered.....

 

 

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Jihad revealed

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Jimmy Carter -- American Buffoon

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AGELESS WIT AND OBSERVATIONS

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed,
if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."
Mark Twain



Suppose you were an idiot.
And suppose you were a member of Congress....
But then I repeat myself.
-Mark Twain



I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-Winston Churchill



A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
- George Bernard Shaw



A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
-G Gordon Liddy



Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
-James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)


Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
-Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University



Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
-P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian



Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
-Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)



Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
-Ronald Reagan (1986)



I don't make jokes I just watch the government
and report the facts.
-Will Rogers



If you think health care is expensive now,
wait until you see what it costs when it's free!
-P.J. O'Rourke




In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
-Voltaire (1764)



Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
-Pericles (430 B.C.)



No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
-Mark Twain (1866 )


Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.
-Unknown



The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
-Ronald Reagan



The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-Winston Churchill



The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
-Mark Twain



The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)



There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save Congress.
-Mark Twain



What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
-Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)



A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson

 

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Brecky Boy Edwards just won't shut up!

 

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I'm not sure who originally wrote this, but it's great!

I have been a Travel Agent for thirty years in Washington, D.C... Here are examples why we might just be in trouble!

I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in Africa." Her response (click).

A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state

I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada ?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."

An aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into Chicago at 8:33 am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on luggage tags? I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I 'looked into it' (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?"

I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, what ever!"

A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." The agent was at a loss for words Finally, the agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said.

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Are you a democrat, republican or a southern republican?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question.

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes

with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raise the knife and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock cal. 40 and you an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrats answer:

Well, that not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about the situation?

Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he would be happy just killing me?

Does he actually want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican answer:

BANG!

Southern republican answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.(sound of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: "nice grouping daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or hollow points"?

Son: Get-R-Done Pop! Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: We ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

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